(apologies to Peter, Paul and Mary)

Muff, the plastic drag queen lived by the dock
And frolicked in a skimpy dress in a land called Boner Rock,
Little Crackhead taker loved that skanky Muff,
and brought her lines of coke and smack and other kinky stuff.

Muff, the plastic drag queen lived by the dock
And frolicked in a skimpy dress in a land called Boner Rock,
Muff, the plastic drag queen lived by the dock
And frolicked in a skimpy dress in a land called Boner Rock.

Together they would sniff that coke with hollowed-out heel
Crackhead kept a lookout perched on Muff’s gigantic eel,
Real and fake princesses would groan whene’er they came
Private dicks would raise their stand when Muff powdered out her name.

Muff, the plastic drag queen lived by the dock
And frolicked in a skimpy dress in a land called Boner Rock,
Muff, the plastic drag queen lived by the dock
And frolicked in a skimpy dress in a land called Boner Rock.

A drag queen lives forever but not so little louts
Painted shoes and giant tits make way for other bouts.
One grey night it happened, Crackhead taker came no more
And Muff that mighty drag queen, she ceased her fearful caw.

Her wig was skew and soggy, pink scales fell like rain,
Muff no longer went to play along the cherry lane.
Without her life-long friend, Muff could not be slim,
So Muff that mighty drag queen sadly slipped and broke her chin. Oh!

Muff, the plastic drag queen lived by the dock
And frolicked in a skimpy dress in a land called Boner Rock,
Muff, the plastic drag queen lived by the dock
And frolicked in a skimpy dress in a land called Boner Rock.