Sir Salman

I have to wonder what damage the large-scale brainwashing of the great unwashed is doing under the guise of religion. Reading the news these days, it's hard to believe that people wanting the death of a British author for insulting their invisible friend, have actually bothered reading the book in the first place.

I feel sorry for people who are unable, for whatever reason, to form their own opinions. What lies ahead for us?

150 days of madness

Picture it: Sandton, 2007. The launch of a 150-day plan to migrate a set of disparate systems into a fully integrated hybrid data warehouse system running Microsoft SQL Server 2005 and associated plugins. Some of us (including me) are a little bewildered by the prospect, especially considering the volume of data and applications that need to migrate in this short period of time.

The fun part is that I’ve been tasked (with necessary assistance of course) to build the business layer, to abstract all access to the data from the users.

So for the past week or so, I’ve been plunging myself into data modelling, data flow, ERDs, UML, UDM, DML, XML, MDX, DMX (I thought he was a singer) and lots of other acronyms I’ve been studiously trying to avoid since I started working in IT in 1997.

The good news is that it looks fascinating. I’m looking at the big picture of our requirements, which gives me a chance to understand large portions of the business as well. I and my colleagues know how big a task this is, and I know I’m looking forward to the challenge.


I once wrote a (very) short story about a man called Pineapple George. I still hold the copyright. In 2005, I accidentally unleashed the character on the world (well, more like the school I was teaching at). He took on his own persona, aided by Chloe and Tyronne, and we won a prize for best original script.

The point of this is that I'm a huge fan of the absurd. The original Pineapple George story was written in under two minutes because I wanted to test Microsoft Works. This was before they bundled Word into the package.

Thanks to inspiration from Monty Python and the Goons, as well as more modern day humourists (including Scott Adams), my love for absurd humour has never wavered. With that in mind, I recommend that you read the most recent Scott Adams blog entry. I've pasted it here, because he tends to delete them after a while. The original source is the related link.
Continue reading Absurdism

I think I spend too much time doing these surveys

Your programmer personality type is:


You're a Planner.
You may be slow, but you'll usually find the best solution. If something's worth doing, it's worth doing right.

You like coding at a Low level.
You're from the old school of programming and believe that you should have an intimate relationship with the computer. You don't mind juggling registers around and spending hours getting a 5% performance increase in an algorithm.

You work best in a Team.
A good group is better than the sum of it's parts. The only thing better than a genius programmer is a cohesive group of genius programmers.

You are a liBeral programmer.
Programming is a complex task and you should use white space and comments as freely as possible to help simplify the task. We're not writing on paper anymore so we can take up as much room as we need.

Tomcruise of the Month

One article, one month, TEN ELEVENTY Tomcruises in one go. I must be in heaven. Here they are in article order:

Joost van der Westhuizen
Amor Vittone
Gert van der Merwe
Wilma van der Bijl
Tanya Fourie
Josie Borain
Kerry McGregor
Kim McGregor
Tracy McGregor
Malcolm Kluk
Reuben Riffel

The reason why? Latest anti-aging “research” has “shown” that “mineral water” can repair “DNA”.

A colleague at work suggested the water may come from Koeberg or Pelindaba.

Check out the related link.

The story of the lonely hard drive

High on a hill desk stood a lonely goatherd hard drive … *insert yodelling here*

A friend who shall remain nameless (Steven Macintyre) asked me to copy some files onto a hard drive for him, because he dropped his other drive and lost all his files. Since I had the last known backup, he wanted to get hold of said backup.

Now Steven this person, when discussing the technical details of supplying me with a new drive on which to restore his data, was informed by me to provide something "I can plug into my Mac".

So, for the last two weeks, the internal IDE drive has been sitting all alone on the desk, waiting to be installed in a machine when I get around to it.

In other words, Steven, I'll do it when I feel like crawling around behind my desk with a torch and a screwdriver.