So there I was at 3:15pm today, going to the bank to query my home loan.

I get there and there’s an old woman who is causing trouble with everyone, asking to speak to “someone intelligent” and “less sub-human”. After insulting most of the staff, she finally perches herself on a chair and takes out a cigarette, so I tell her she’s not going to smoke in the bank, being a smoke-free environment and all.

Long story short, I break the cigarette, she accuses me of stealing, calls me a stupid bastard and stabs me in the neck with her pen. I retaliate in self-defence, with an open hand to her shoulder.

I get escorted by the bank manager to a room, where I phone my lawyer. Meanwhile, the old woman is still swearing at the staff, this time calling the manager a “f*cking stupid bitch” because she won’t type up a letter for the woman.

Eventually I make my escape with the help of two other staff members and the security guard. Talk about a day in the life.

My home loan query? Well, that’s postponed to tomorrow.

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