Yes, you read the title properly. ISPs, in league with law enforcement officials, want to create a database of child pornography images. Apparently (though I haven't made this leap of logic in my own head), this will assist them in catching perverts, because if any files that the pervert downloads, match the files in the database, then they will either be notified, or will block it, or something.

Well, this won't work. For starters, you can bypass most ISPs by using P2P technology, IRC with DCC, and so on. It's trivial to encrypt the files so that the ISPs cannot scan them. In other words, they are going about this the wrong way. It's too complex.

So, I propose the following solution, and I admit I'm being a bastard about this:

Build the database by all means, but then charge money for access to the database, and then arrest those people who pay. Then throw them into jail with "kiddie porn" emblazoned on their foreheads. The money charged can be used to pay for children's homes, AIDS research, or whatever. Maybe even a party bus for ISP officials who catch these perverts in their thousands. You could even call it the Kiddie Porn Party Bus.

UPDATE: Someone just asked me what will happen when the pornographers catch on. This is a trivial problem, because I'd hire the same people who ran the Security Police to run this database. It would have different access points, different addresses, contact details, etc., and the people who are arrested would be "going on holiday" or just disappearing. No media attention whatsoever is necessary.

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