Woe Is Me

Look at the time. It’s just after 4am on a Sunday. I should be in bed. In fact, I was in bed until an hour ago.

I woke up because it sounded like a bomb had gone off and someone was breaking into my home. Now read this email I’ve just written and laugh with me. Well to be honest, I’m not laughing yet.

Hi [Sales Consultant]

At approximately 3:10am on Sunday morning (almost an hour ago), the brand new UPS you sold me last week failed catastrophically. It sounded like a bomb – it woke me up because I thought someone was breaking into my house. I live on the third floor of an apartment complex, so it’s not that easy to break in.

The noise alone is almost as horrifying as the smell of burnt plastic. The damn thing will not even turn off, even after I unplug it and hold down the power button. I made a video recording with my webcam which I have attached for your enjoyment. The bad sound quality doesn’t do justice to the noise I’m hearing right now. The screaming will probably go on for four or five hours, because it’s a 1kVA UPS and nothing is plugged into it, which means I doubt I’ll get any more sleep. It sounds like five thousand crickets have landed in my study and are having their annual leg-rubbing festival or whatever that thing is they do. One neighbour has already come knocking.

I am going to bring in the UPS on Monday, for which you are going to refund me in full, no handling fees, nothing. I don’t think I’ve even had it a week. I don’t want another one, and I recommend you switch suppliers immediately to Meissner or APC (I’m going to buy a Meissner now). Whomever sold you this piece of crap should be forced to listen to five hours of this ringing. In fact, I hope this damn thing is still ringing when I bring it in, and when you return it to them.

Anyway, I just hope there’s no damage to the motherboard or any other components of the two machines that were plugged into it when it died. It’s supposed to PROTECT my computers from power failures, not BE a power failure in itself!

Still laughing? How about checking out a humorous anecdote from a few years back, called Even Technicians Get Fooled. Oddly, it took place on 17 April 2002 … how bizarre is that?

Update 13:39: The UPS which failed at just after 3am this morning is still going ten and a half hours later. It still sounds like a swarm of crickets playing their tune. I slept a few hours but I’m exhausted and annoyed. To get some sleep, I took the UPS to my car and locked it in the boot.

It Never Rains, But It Pours

So there I was at 3:15pm today, going to the bank to query my home loan.

I get there and there’s an old woman who is causing trouble with everyone, asking to speak to “someone intelligent” and “less sub-human”. After insulting most of the staff, she finally perches herself on a chair and takes out a cigarette, so I tell her she’s not going to smoke in the bank, being a smoke-free environment and all.

Long story short, I break the cigarette, she accuses me of stealing, calls me a stupid bastard and stabs me in the neck with her pen. I retaliate in self-defence, with an open hand to her shoulder.

I get escorted by the bank manager to a room, where I phone my lawyer. Meanwhile, the old woman is still swearing at the staff, this time calling the manager a “f*cking stupid bitch” because she won’t type up a letter for the woman.

Eventually I make my escape with the help of two other staff members and the security guard. Talk about a day in the life.

My home loan query? Well, that’s postponed to tomorrow.

Goodbye, JP2

This is a short note to pass on my condolences to Jesus for the death of Pope John Paul II. While a large portion of my extended family is Catholic, I am not, so I can’t share in the grief to their extent. Nevertheless, he was a very influential man and his life’s work should be recognised.

Life goes on otherwise. I’m enjoying teaching at my high school. I’ve got several assignments for my degree that I need to finish up over the next few days so I am very busy.